Friday, April 1, 2011

Part 2 - Like Father, Like Son

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch" - Lewis Carroll

T-minus 1 week until F-day.

It was the kind of morning in which it seemed like something should happen. And indeed, "happen" was exactly was something did. And that something was this:

The day broke.

And on this especial morning, the day broke with an excessive amount of noise and commotion. The Royal Guard of Those Individuals Who Possess a Certain Knack for Fixing Things Which Break was immediately summoned to the scene of the supposed accident.

"First the suicidal Dumpy fellow and now this," muttered the first guard, "I need a raise."

"Well, look at it this way, First Guard, we did get to sharpen our 3d puzzle skills" said the second cheerily.

"That's all well and good, Mr. Second, but look at this mess," said First while pointing at the ground where the wounded day lie, "This is isn't a normal daybreak. This day actually broke!"

Second quickly acknowledged First's point and phoned his counterpart: Corporal II of The Royal Guard of Those Individuals Who Possess a Certain Knack for Fixing Things Which Broke. By the time the corporals arrived, the day was quite dead and forever broken beyond repair.

First Guard was rather angry after wasting his morning on something so far out of his jurisdiction. He had missed his favorite morning routine of watching his elderly father balance eels on the end of his nose and had also forgotten to arrange for a ride to school for Sid, his son. It didn't much matter though. Sid played hooky with the wild abandon of someone playing Russian Roulette with an empty gun.

The rules of hooky are simple. It's a sort of hide and go seek with the exception that if you're found, you must lie your face off until the seeker goes away. This game is played as sort of a warm-up to Cops and Robbers, which is then followed by Let's See How Many Times I Can Bang My Head Against the Prison Bars or Batman and Robbers depending on skill level and the severity of one's crimes.

When First got back to his house, he found that Sid had gotten a head start in the endless, pointless game of Hooky. First headed straight to The Hummus House. There he found Sid.

"Sid! I knew you'd be here!" exclaimed the worried father.

"How'd you find me?" asked Sid calmly. "Was it the note I left that said: 'I'll be at the Hummus House.' that clued you off?

"Well, yes....partially that," First coughed nervously, "but it was mostly father's intuition."

"Anyways," he continued, "You should come home. It's dangerous to be out on a broken day. Anything can happen. There are bandersnatchs and Jubjub birds everywhere!"

Sid put all his effort into looking as bored as humanly possible.

"Keep quiet, father dearest. I've decided to go have some fun with this." Sid unsheathed an impossibly large sword with a thousand pointed rivets. It looked more like a chainsaw or cactus than a sword, yet Sid tossed it from hand to hand with ease.

First looked a little surprised, "When I was a boy, I asked permission before I bought some piece of vorpal junk on craigslist. Now put that thing away before you poke someone's face off."

"Please, Dad? What if I just go and kill some monsters real quick?" asked the innocent little boy armed with the weapon of mass destruction. "I promise I'll be back in time for dinner."

"I suppose that's fine...but try not to get into trouble."

"Bye! Thanks, pops!" And with that Sid left, and skipped bravely into the woods with his meat cleaver in hand.

First started to order some hummus to-go, but then remembered something. He rushed out the front door of the Hummus House and called into the distance: "And stay away from Esquire Wellkey!!!

But it was too late. He had already gone.

Up next, Part 3 - "The Thrill of the Hunt" or "Here Wocky, wocky, wocky..."

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